Earthquakes are God’s wrath for future Flagpole

According to earthquake.usgs.gov, Columbia Falls has been rocked by 15 earthquakes between August 11th and September 1st.

These seismic events range between a 1.1 and 3.0 magnitude. They have all occurred around a remote wooded area some three miles as the crow flies from the future site of the Flagpole of Freedom Park.

The Worcester family has high hopes that their Flagpole of Freedom Park will be the only location in the US where all 24 million of America’s veterans are honored in one place. It will cost $1 billion and span 2500 acres. The flagpole itself will stand 1,776 feet above sea level, towering over the little town of Columbia Falls and easily being seen in the distance for miles around. The project is being crowdfunded by donors across the country, who pay a monthly fee to be dubbed “Founders” of the park.

If approved by local planning boards, it is destined to be completed by July 4th, 2026, in time for the United States Semiquincentennial.

The Worcesters could be raising millions of dollars in funds to provide America’s veterans with social services to improve their mental health, economic status, and overall quality of life. Instead, what should have remained behind closed doors as a booze-fueled pipe dream may become reality for a small town barely equipped to handle the scope of the project, let alone the estimated 6 million visitors it will bring annually.

Essentially, a giant phallus is soon to be erected as a monument to the Worcesters’ hubris, with no actual regard for the veterans it is ostensibly meant to honor.

17 As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. 18 They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, 19 thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life.

1 Timothy 6:17-19 – English Standard Version

These recent earthquakes, and their location, are no coincidence. Things will only get worse if His message is not heard: do not proceed with the erection of this pockmarked phallus upon God’s green earth. Be generous; be ready to share.

In my opinion, should the Worcesters decide to cease fleecing the American people in pursuit of this laughable effort to “honor” America’s veterans, and instead build a social safety net for this vulnerable population — they might not be too late to stop a massive rift opening up in the earth and swallowing Columbia Falls and everything in it.

Until then, however, go outside and remind yourself what it’s like up here above Earth’s crust, lest you forget when we’re rebuilding the village underground as mole people.

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